Twilight Bella & Edward

I was in Forks, Washington, this summer. It rained, I had Chinese food and stayed in a flea bag motel with clumps of hair in the bath tub (not mine!) and yukky stains on the carpet (definitely not mine either!). Great Chinese though. And the forests are stunning, almost worth the stains (but not the hair).

And now there’s a whole movie about this tiny town. Twilight is all about a very pretty girl with a very big brain and still it takes her about half the movie to figure out that her hearts desire is undead.

“Your skin is cold, you never eat or drink anything….”

It’s a bit of shame, because anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock for the past couple of years knows exactly what’s going on: Edward is a vampire. It would be like “finding out” half way through the movie that Harry Potter is a wizard. After this unnecessarily long winded start, frankly, I was bored out of my skull.

Rob’s got this dark, brooding Johnnie Depp in Edward Scissorhands-thing going on. Without the acting skills. Kristin on the other hand has all the alabaster skin and the Bambi eyes and doesn’t do a bad job.

As a couple they are just awful. Not for one minute did I believe Edward was in love with Bella. Actually, even HE looked bored. I shudder to think what any sequels will look like. Maybe Rob will do us all a favor and drop out.
Or dead?

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